Caleb's 1st Birthday Party

To me, the ideal 1st birthday party would include all of Caleb's family and friends. All the people who have loved on him, snuggled him and supported us throughout this year. However, that guest list would overwhelm even the most social of babies!

As it was, we were blessed to spend this special day with our dear friends Tim (a coworker) and his wife Jen. This couple visited us at the hospital and delivered pizza and Motrin our first night home with our new baby. They've since had their own son, 4 month old Christopher, who also joined the party. Denise, another coworker and friend was also able to make it. She's been a wonderful help as we've been settling back in to our home in PA, babysitting on short notice and even helping us out with our garage sale.

Since Caleb and I both tend to be a little on the high strung side, I figured keeping the day low key would make it more enjoyable for both of us. As it turned out, the adults definitely ended up having as much fun as the kids!

Preparations for the party began the night before and Caleb was more than willing to help. Our mini-toddler wanted to be part of filling up the kiddie pool (our gift to him).

Of course, he needed to test the water.

It was all fun and games until a good yank on the hose made it squirt him in the face.

After Caleb was in bed, I put David to work shredding carrots and I started mixing the batter for carrot cake cupcakes.

After the cupcakes were out of the oven, David and I set out plates, napkins, etc., tidied up a bit more and went to bed.

The sun came up and the day started out perfectly with Caleb letting us sleep in until 6:30am. No, that's not sarcasm. He's been waking at 5:30 every day this month and we felt like new people just from getting that extra hour of sleep.

After eating breakfast together we traded off playing with Caleb and getting the last few party prep tasks completed. I made a cold pressed sandwich with pesto, salami, ham, provolone and red peppers (you can read the full recipe here) and put it in the fridge to chill until lunch. I also made home made cream cheese frosting for the first time, which ended up being way simpler than I thought. It did make me painfully aware of just how much sugar was in it, but the "yum" factor was totally worth it.

Guests began arriving around 11 and we spent about an hour letting the babies play and visiting with one another. Since Caleb takes two naps each day, time between them is limited so it was soon time to open presents and eat lunch and cake.

Caleb received lots of wonderful gifts including a "big boy" swing to hang outside, clothing, books, just-his-size gardening tools, a tool bench, new puzzle and a ball. He had so much fun ripping the paper and exploring each object. He certainly didn't seem to mind being the center of attention at all.

The adults ate lunch while Caleb fed himself what I hoped was enough slow burning carbs and protein to balance out all the sugar he was soon to ingest.

I tried not to have high expectations for the cake "smash" as Caleb had just begun feeding himself less than a week ago and it was getting really close to nap time. However, none of those factors stopped him from lifting the entire thing off the high chair and trying to cram it into his mouth. I laugh so hard every time I watch the video, but at the time I was petrified he was going to choke he kept putting such big pieces of cake in there!

After the babies were in bed for naps (yes, both at once miraculously), it was of course, time for the adults to clear the table and play Settlers of Catan! We finished the game just in time for the babies to awaken.

The original plan had been to spend the hottest part of the afternoon splashing in the kiddie pool, however, we decided between the breeze and a high that barely eeked over 80 degrees we'd have two chilly babies if we tried that. Instead, we worked on making foot prints on canvases for the grandparents. Tim and Jen also made one with baby Christopher. It was a fun and messy experience!

Paint on

Paint Off

After lots and lots of play time, feeding the babies dinner, doing bath time for Caleb, both babies went to sleep for the night and the adults were free to play Catan again. This time we played the geekier "Cities and Knights" version which totally overwhelmed me the first two times I tried it, but was much more enjoyable this round.

It was a wonderful day for celebrating his birth and spending time with great friends. Here are a few more of my favorite photos from the day:

Happy 1st Birthday Caleb!

Caleb turns one today. The days leading up to this morning have been emotional ones for me. One minute I'm elated that we made it through the first year and that each month gets better and better. The next minute, I'm feeling wistful for the little bundle that could only sleep on my tummy who now hardly has time to sit on my lap.

Each month brings so many changes, but this past one in particular has been an explosion of milestones. Just as the month began, Caleb started walking on his knees. This gave him the stability and height he needed to throw things onto the couch (one of his favorite activities). Always look twice before you sit down in our house, you may find a tennis ball, block, book or stacking ring has appeared in your seat since you left it!

Daddy's rock climbing genes are coming out. Our little dare-devil tests everything to see if he can get a heel-hook and pull himself up to a higher vantage point. Fortunately he's only gotten about 4 inches off the ground so far, but seeing as he is already trying his best to climb out of the bath tub, I think I'm going to have my hands full!

The second week of June, tooth #7 makes it's arrival (bottom left, 2nd from center) and I can see a molar just below the surface on the right side. Despite teething and having a double ear, nose and eye infection Caleb spends his days rearranging furniture and fooling mommy into thinking he's not sick until he spikes a 101 degree fever during nap time. On the upside, that doctors visit let us know Caleb is now up to 20lbs 9oz (the 10th-20th percentile) so he is probably weighing in at around 21lbs on his first birthday. Not bad for the guy who lost instead of gained weight for 2 out of his 12 months of life!

Other new developments that week included "knocking" on the window (instead of just smacking it), standing alone (going from squatting to standing without help) and learning to crawl with a toy in his hand. His two favorite things to hold onto while he crawls are his tennis ball (which makes him crawl like "peg leg" baby and is totally hysterical to watch) and a wooden block, which makes a satisfying SMACK each time it hits the floor. Hey, at least he's easier to keep track of that way!

Receptive language keeps expanding through out the month. Caleb adds "volley ball" (his favorite!), "clap", "yay" (which also means "clap" to him),"down", and "up" this month. We're pretty sure he knows "outside", "Ergo" and "Bye Bye" but there are usually some visual cues to tell him about those things so it's a little harder to tell.

This month has also been a good one for expressive language. He found the "on" button for babbling again and has spent most of the month telling us all about it, usually saying "mammamamamama" in a very conversational tone. He does make lot of other sounds, just not as often (sa, ja, shu, ga, etc.)It's been so amazing to see that side of his personality.

My favorite moment was the "lecture" he gave daddy after running the vacuum cleaner. Caleb has this huge approach/avoidance conflict with the vacuum. It simultaneously fascinates and terrifies him. When it's off, he'll crawl to it, touch it, crawl back to us and cry. When it's on, he listens closely and then begins full body shaking that doesn't end until the vacuum turns off again. When David finished vacuuming the floor this week, Caleb crawled up to him and started saying in a loud, angry voice "nya nya nya nya" over and over. I think that's his version of "no, no, no"!

He's also started pointing, though I don't think he quite understands what it does yet. And no wonder, sometimes when he points we feed him, other times we merely name the object and still others we pass him over to be held by a different person. There's one thing he knows for sure. The index finger is a powerful tool and he will keep pointing at everything until he discovers how it works.

The two biggest accomplishments of the month though, came in the last week. As many of you know, I've been trying to encourage Caleb to pick up finger foods for the past 3 months. I'd offer them, he'd smear them. I'd feed them to him, he'd throw the rest on the floor. Then, finally, it all came together.

At first he'd pick up a puff and put it in my hand (and I'd feed it to him). Then, a few days ago, he just started eating everything finger food style. Bits of English muffin, cheese, ground beef, pasta and mashed potatoes all being stuffed into his mouth with both hands! In fact, he loves his new skill so much he will no longer take more than a few ounces off the spoon (unless it's a big person spoon, then it's a different story). Suddenly we can all eat meals as a family rather than taking turns feeding the baby while the other person eats. It really has been a dramatic (and wonderful) shift.

Last, and best of all, Caleb took his first independent steps a mere 5 days before his first birthday. It's not something I've been in a rush for him to learn, and to be honest, I never really understood why it's considered the "big deal" milestone.

However, now that I've experienced it, I can honestly say it's like nothing I've felt before. The closest comparison I have is the feeling I get when trying to get a kite into the air. After lots of false starts, suddenly it's soaring all on it's own. Seeing Caleb walk was like that for me. A few tiny steps seemed to represent to me the gradual independence he'll be gaining over the next 18 years. It's beautiful and bittersweet all at once.

It's been an incredible year. Today we celebrate that Caleb arrived safely into our arms one year ago, all he has accomplished since then, and of course, that David and I survived it all ; )

Reflecting on the First Year

Where Love Began
I will never forget the feeling of seeing those double lines appear on the pregnancy test. I had no idea I could love someone the size of a poppy seed so much. Already I found myself rubbing my belly protectively and praying for the health of this little life. I tried not to get excited. I tried to remind myself of the long family history of difficulty carrying children to term. But I couldn't help it. No matter what the next weeks might bring, this was my first baby and I loved him.

Then
We'll skip over morning sickness and the other joys of pregnancy to this morning one year ago. I woke up a little early to go to my 40 week OB appointment. I was already fairly certain labor was near and anxious to hear what the doctor would have to say. She encouraged me to do some walking, I took her advice and was in the early stages of labor by midnight. I won't recap the entire birth story, but just after noon the next day I gave birth to a healthy baby boy with a true knot in his umbilical cord.

I've said many time this year that his cord was exactly as thick as it needed to be for him to survive and as knotted as it needed to be to remind me that I am only a steward, his life and health belong to God. It's something I've needed to remind myself of many times over this past year!

And Now...
This morning, I woke up at 5:30am to a little boy who sleeps through the night, takes only minutes to eat and then wants to crawl and explore. Looking back, it amazes me that we could come so far in one short year. I would certainly consider everything I have learned this year about our son and our marriage to be the greatest accomplishment of my life thus far. I still tear up when I think how overwhelmed we felt sometimes during those first few months contrasted with the joy we feel now.

The Recap
The first 3-4 months are an absolute blur to me now. Sometimes I feel guilty for how little I enjoyed being a mother during that time. It often felt like it was all I could do to survive each day. Caleb never really had a sleepy newborn stage. During the day he slept no more than 20 minutes at a time and "at night" (midnight-10am) he slept 1.5 hours at a time.

I spent 8-10 hours every day for the first month just nursing him, since it was the only thing that calmed his colic. He never did take a pacifier well (as you may have noticed in the photo above where I'm trying to keep it in his mouth). I got mastitis during his 5th week of life. The AC died a few days after arriving home from the hospital during a summer of record breaking heat and didn't get fixed until he was 6 weeks old. He had blood in his stools for the first 4 months, so I went on an extremely restrictive diet. This problem (thankfully) resolved itself with no explanation.

I don't say all that to complain, but merely so when I say I didn't start enjoying being a mom until he was 5 months old and every single month has been better than the one before it, you'll know where I'm coming from. I felt so helpless to make him feel better during that time and so inadequate as a mom.

Those difficult months taught David and I to lean on one another in a way we never would have had to without Caleb and to give grace generously. David was tireless in his efforts to bring me relief. He never took time to relax when he got home from work. By then, I was at my breaking point from holding the crying baby all day. He told me work was his break, and then scooped Caleb out of my arms and held him almost the entire night until Caleb finally went to sleep around 10. I took night shift so David would be able to function at work. I don't think we've ever admired each other so much.

Of course, there were some wonderful things about the first few months. I loved the feeling of him sleeping on my chest, the joy of getting to know and love him more each day, the itty-bitty-ness of it all.

However, after 5 months old, the fun really began. His colic began receding (though his reflux remained into the 7th month), he started sitting up. He actually smiled at us. It was a truly amazing time.

Each month he began exploring more, interacting more and crying less. We learned his quirks, the (sometimes strange) things that bring him joy- being held upside down, pushing furniture everywhere, turning pages in a book, etc. Now, he frequently smiles and laughs with us. Some days it almost seems surreal. Four months of crying doesn't seem long looking back, but the days we lived it seemed to be endless.

Even before I became a parent, I used to write an Elizabeth Stone quote on almost every baby shower card I wrote. It read, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” I could never have imagined the depth of those words until I became a mom.

This little guy is such a treasure, such a gift. Even the challenges we faced at the beginning have only added to the deep bond our family has formed over the past year. I can never express fully enough our thanks to all the friends and family who helped us through the hard times, encouraged us, and watched him grow this year. We are so blessed!