Writing with Rose Colored Glasses

There seems to be a new trend for articles to criticize moms for using blogs and social networks to create a false, overly positive, inflated picture of their family life (if you need evidence, just google "Moms use Facebook to brag"). While I have certainly been on the "I wish I had it all together like she seems to" end of things, I've noticed that I also emphasize the positive moments from our month in my writing. 

Things are not sunshine and rainbows all the time here. There are days I hand Caleb over to David the minute he gets home and go lay down for half an hour because I'm so exhausted, touched-out and ready for a break. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes I'm selfish. Sometimes I'm lazy.

So why don't I write about that? Sometimes I do. But, for me, those times are not a defining moment in our week, month or even the day. I feel like those difficulties should be assumed in motherhood, and that it's not necessary to use ink to dwell on them in every single post. The people I see on a day-to-day basis are certainly well-versed in stories of me falling down and getting back up again in this parenting journey.

It makes me sad to think that by choosing not to write detailed descriptions of those hard moments, I might make another mom feel less-than. I try to only write about what I want to remember 20 years from now; about things that build up my joy in motherhood. Not surprisingly, this doesn't include the time I yelled at my toddler to JUST. WALK. UP. THE. STAIRS.

So please, can I make an appeal? Give the mom friends in your life the benefit of the doubt. Assume their job is hard, that they do fail, and give them the freedom to rejoice over the beautiful moments without accusing them of deliberately trying to present a false impression of themselves or their children.

My sad boy woke up too early from his nap. I want him to watch TV so I can keep resting. He is not impressed with my suggestion.

Goodbyes and Hellos

This past month brought two big events as we said "Goodbye" to David for his first two week trip since Caleb was 7 weeks old and "Hello" to my parents for a two week visit (woo-hoo!).We were blessed to have one week all together, which was when David and I squished in some important appointments and our lovely anniversary celebration in DC. We were able to make a few memories, but it was a rushed and busy time preparing for David's trip.

Finally the dreaded day arrived. After church on mother's day, David ate a rushed lunch, gave hugs and kisses, and left for the airport. I had no idea how Caleb was going to react to his most adored playmate being gone for an extended period of time, but I was thankful my parents would be with us the first week to ease the transition.

The first 2-3 days were definitely the hardest on him, especially in the mornings and evenings. He'd often ask me, "Daddy? Daddy?" tearfully. It broke my heart. Then, David and I got into a rhythm of skyping each morning before he went to work. Due to a time difference, this required David waking up at an insanely early time to pull off, but it made all the difference to our little guy.

Instead of asking "Daddy? Daddy?" in distress, he'd simply say, "Daddy?" calmly. I'd reply, "Daddy's at work." to which he'd always reply, "Mama?" and I'd say, "Mama's right here." and then he'd smile, giggle a little and move on. This ritual seemed to comfort him and continued both weeks.

As the first week progressed, I became a pro at finding ways to make him feel connected to daddy. I'd give him kisses from daddy, look at daddy in the photo album, build a model of daddy out of playdough (don't laugh, the kid loves it!). Caleb learned to blow kisses to daddy through skype and one night, he was even able to stay up late enough for daddy to read him his bedtime story!

This was the photo in his album Caleb chose to fixate on most often during the week. One night he didn't take his eyes off of it during his entire bedtime story.

Dressing up as daddy was a big hit!

 Despite the challenges of David being gone, my parents and I were finally able to slow down and savor a wonderful week playing outside, visiting a local greenhouse, going to the park, and just spending time together.

 Fun Times with Grandpa and Granny 

He's so excited to be hanging out with Granny and Grandpa!

Grandpa was his special buddy

Relaxing in the backyard

Field trip to the greenhouse.

They take gardening seriously up here. Those beautiful baskets line downtown from spring to early fall and I love it!

Checking out the tadpoles and fish. Caleb's favorite part!

Fun at the park!

Getting a free ride from Granny during toddler time at the roller rink

Mom and I even got a girls night out thanks to Dad babysitting!

On Saturday the 19th, I drove Mom and Dad to a nearby town to catch a shuttle to the airport. It was hard to see them go. I don't think Caleb really understood they were leaving until I put him back in the carseat and Granny and Grandpa didn't reappear. He had a few minutes of hard crying, but luckily my sweet friend Julie who lives nearby (and was many days overdue for welcoming her newest addition) had toys waiting to distract him. We had a great play date and she got to meet her adorable little man the next afternoon!

After that hurdle, the week flowed pretty smoothly. We had three rainy days in a row so we went to the library and the skating rink to burn energy and avoid cabin fever. Friends met up with us and came over for dinner. One friend slept with her phone beside her bed as our "on-call" person all week should an emergency arise. Other friends reminded me to call if we need anything, and I knew they meant it. Our neighbor let me hang out in their back yard while my son mooched animal crackers ; ) I don't think I will ever get over how incredibly blessed I feel to have so many supportive people in our lives.

On Thursday we got a very special piece of mail- Daddy sent us a post card! I told Caleb it was from his daddy and he ran all around with it and cried when I hung in on the fridge so I gave him a piece of tape and let him hang it on his fridge. He seemed satisfied with that solution.

Finally Saturday arrived. I wish I could have somehow captured the joy at that reunion, but photos will have to do!

He hears someone on the stairs and somehow he seems to know who it is...

First sighting of Daddy!!!

Telling him all about it...

He instantly wanted David to play with him

Daddy kisses...

Lead to long Caleb hugs. He latched on and didn't let go for several minutes.

Caleb hugging the special surprise Daddy brought home just for him. We both have fond memories of our dad's bringing us special momentos from a trip and David continued the tradition. 

There were more precious moments, but I didn't capture them on film because it was my turn to get a big hug!

Caleb: 17 Months

17 months. Before I was a parent, I wondered why when I asked a toddler's age I got the answer in months instead of years. I mean really, couldn't you just say "1" or even "1 and 1/2", but "17 months"? Really?

Of course, now that I'm a seasoned veteran (hahahahahaha!)I know it's because the 12 month old who had barely figured out how to put food in his own mouth, hadn't even learned to point yet, wasn't walking and didn't sign or use language in no way resembles my almost-one-and-a-half year old. In fact, my 17 month old doesn't even really resemble my 15 month old. We're steadily moving from older-baby/pre-toddler into full blown toddlerhood.

We were so excited at 12 months when Caleb started standing without holding on

17 month olds say, "See you later, alligator!"

This month, Caleb has really begun to assert his independence. He doesn't want his diaper changed, he doesn't want his teeth brushed (toddler toothpaste to the rescue...), he thinks he's hot stuff because mommy lets him walk around with a water sippy cup instead of confining him.

Clearly thrilled about being allowed to walk around with his sippy

He loves imitating us. Here he is pretending to be mommy

Now pretending to be daddy

Back to mommy again

It can be very challenging at times, especially when something that is usually a "yes" becomes a "no" (he wants to go outside when it's pouring, for instance). However, it is really exciting to see him becoming his own person. I know this is all part of the process (and I will keep repeating that to myself as I take deep, deep breaths...)

Caleb's language skills have taken another big step this month. Although his clear words are still limited to "ball, 'ello, and uh-oh" his babble is beginning to resemble "real" words more and more often. So many times he is clearly trying to say "more" (Mo!), "all done" (A-doe!), etc. He also says "yeah". He also started saying "moo" when he sees a cow. It's sooo adorable!

We've seen a huge leap in his understanding as well. When reading Go, Dogs, Go (for the 1000th time) he pointed to the page with the boat and water and started signing "bath". When he sees the banana in his "b" book, he signs "eat". If we talk about "night-night" or say "are you sleepy?" he pretends to sleep on the spot. He also waves bye-bye when people leave and signs bath when he's ready to start his bed time routine. It's so incredible to go from having to carry him and make choices for him to being able to say, "Are you ready for night nights?" and have him run into my arms and start sucking his thumb. Or have a tantrum. He is a toddler after all : )

Caleb, are you ready to go night-nights?

What happened next was not such a Kodak moment

Our little daredevil continues to be fearless in the face of danger. While at the playground with my parents, he decided he was a big boy and could climb the giant ladder to the slide all on his own. He did frighteningly well with Daddy spotting him.

Reaching the top

Worth the effort

This month also has the distinction of bringing a bittersweet milestone. My little guy has officially weaned himself from day time feedings. We're down to one short nurse in the morning and one longer one before bed. It's amazing how much my feelings and goals towards nursing have changed since we got the news we'd be having a baby.

Before he was born, I definitely wanted to nurse for a year. Afterwards, during those hard first weeks of nursing that felt unending, I just wanted to make it to 6 weeks, when I heard it got better (it did!). Then, as his first birthday rolled around, I knew neither of us was ready to wean. I hoped it would happen naturally sometime between his first and second birthday. Obviously, that's exactly what's happening...and yet I'm still a little sad. If had told me a year ago I'd have this response, I would have been a little surprised.

There were several times during the first year I felt a bit "trapped" by the feeling that I couldn't be away from Caleb longer than the space between feedings (3-4 hours) without pumping, which I am terrible at. However, I find that nursing a toddler is actually lots of fun. I can miss a feeing and it was no big deal since he's quite proficient with his sippy cup and cow milk. He needs to be held so much less, so those cuddle times are extra treasured. He's also a huge daddy's boy these days, so it's nice to feel needed.

All that said, I am really excited he feels ready to take this step, excited to see yet another sign my baby is growing up and increbily humbled and thankful that we've been able to nurse so long.

This month also included a wonderful visit to Florida with friends and family, but you'll have to wait to read all about it in Thanksgiving- Part I : )

Oh Toddler!

It's been one of those weeks where I know for sure I'm the luckiest mom on earth. Caleb has his challenges (waking up at 5:30am, biting, hair pulling, etc.) but this week I have seen some major changes as my little baby becomes a big toddler.
Back yard bubble fun

Someone decided he wanted to hold the bubbles. Attack!

Self Control: Formerly, Caleb had to be banished to the "jump jump" whenever I loaded or unloaded the dishwasher. Since he hates confinement of any kind, masked as fun or not, it broke my heart to hear him fuss as I raced to finish the task before a complete melt down. Suddenly, all I have to do is jiggle his busy-box of kitchen toys, give him a reminder "No" right after I open the dishwasher and he plays happily for 20 minutes or so while I finish up. Of course, eventually temptation over-takes him, but as I see him creeping closer and closer, reaching out to it with a block (so he's not really touching it) I know that's my cue to wrap up. I'm so incredibly proud of him!

New Foods: Whatever other challenges Caleb has had, picky eating has never been one of them. This week he scarfed down chicken and broccoli casserole, lemon dill salmon, and chicken fajitas (including the peppers and onions). Plus jarred baby food. Plus sippy cups of milk. Plus nursing. How is this kid still losing weight?
Feeding Daddy is a new favorite game

Go Go Go: Because he doesn't stop moving of course! He is so interested in walking. He uses anything he can find (chairs, tupperware, his dinosaur walker) to help him get around the house on two feet. Occasionally he will sit quietly and turn pages in books, but most of the time he is on the move.

Listen Closely: For the most part, Caleb is wonderfully responsive to correction. Usually a reminder like "think think Caleb" is enough to redirect him. Sometimes we can tell he doesn't comply because he's not really sure what part of what he's doing is the "no" part. He will stay where he is and touch 3-4 things really close to him to figure out which one is "no". Once he learns it, he tends to listen quite well. Biting seems to be the exception to this rule. Something about biting is so enticing right now that none of our usually strategies are effective. I'm hoping once that last tooth on the bottom comes in the problem resolves itself.

DADDY!!!: Daddy has always been Caleb's favorite toy, but we are on to a whole new level of daddy adoration now. As soon as he finishes nursing in the morning he turns over and pounces on daddy. He reluctantly allows me to pry him off of dad's shoulder so David can go to work. When David comes home, Caleb's energy multiplies and the two of them are inseparable until bed time. I thought I would feel a little jealous, but honestly, it's just the coolest thing ever to seem them bonding this way. Sometimes I do want Caleb to share David with me though! Fortunately it's hard to keep Caleb awake much past 6:30 so we still have the evenings mostly to ourselves.
Mommies kiss boo-boo's but Daddies are F.U.N.

I really can't describe how much I am loving getting to know this little guy that God has blessed us with. I treasure the stories, the songs, exploring the back yard, rolling the ball back and forth, cleaning up the tupperware cabinet again and again, sweeping under the high chair for the 100th time, and everything else that goes along with raising this amazing person. It's exhausting, but I have no doubt it's the job I was made for.

Memories, Milestones and Mishaps

Did I mention June is a busy month? Lets recap:

Weekend #1: Hosted a small group cookout. Don't let the name "small group" fool you. While our group has the typical number of adults (about 5 couples) we have 80% of the kids who attend Hope Church. Ok, I might be exaggerating slightly, but when you see the joyful chaos of a dozen kiddos playing in your back yard, you know your "small group" has something extra special.

I loved the chance to get to know some of the kids better and was especially thankful for the beautiful weather that let us all sit outside and gave the kids room to run. Caleb, amazingly, slept through it all which makes me feel a lot braver about having people over after his bed time.

Weekend #2: We set up our very first yard sale. People tried to warn us it wasn't worth it and after two loooong, hot days and very little traffic, I have to say: I completely agree. However, I'm still super excited about all the stuff we are getting rid of and will be hauling to Good Will. Extra special thanks to Jen and Denise who helped those hours pass cheerfully!

Weekend #3: We were blessed to host David's middle brother, Josh. While we were still in Florida, Josh and a friend moved up to New York so this is the first opportunity we've had to visit with him in person for almost 5 months. I love having weekend guests and thoroughly enjoyed planning meals and activities. However,as any parent knows, the best laid plans...

Josh arrived Thursday night after Caleb went to bed. It was my first time doing Caleb's bed time routine by myself since he was 7 weeks old and I was pleasantly surprised to find I was up to the challenge and it went quite smoothly. Though, I will admit, I was too afraid to take my hands off of him in the tub to soap him up so his bath that evening was water only!

The next day, we set aside some of the fun we were planning so I could take Caleb to the pediatrician. I just had this gut feeling his ear infection wasn't gone despite the fact we finished antibiotics that morning. Sure enough, the right ear was still infected. So, round two of antibiotics began.

That evening another family hosted our not-so-small "small group" and David's coworker, Denise came over to watch Caleb while we enjoyed dinner baby free. Caleb had a hard time going to sleep so I sent David and Josh ahead, but managed to make it in time for food. When we got home, we asked Denise to stay played Fluxx, Apples to Apples and ate ice cream. It was a wonderful night!

Seriously, does this kid look sick to you?

Saturday, we attempted to go hiking, only to find poor Caleb was being swarmed by biting yellow flies. Josh got to see my neurotic mommy side come out and we promptly made a dash for the parking lot. I spent some time beating myself up for not thinking about bug spray as the guys shook their heads. Eventually I relaxed, chalked it up to a learning experience and we went to go get ice cream. Ice cream fixes everything, right?

Watching the river in a non-yellow-fly-infested area

The last time I was checking out this stream I was 8 months pregnant!

Sunday began at 5:30am with a very alert Caleb. Completely forgetting it was Father's Day, I asked my sweet husband to get up with him. David changed him and played with him until I rolled out of bed at 7. Neither of us realized what day it was until Josh wished David a happy Father's Day. Oops!

The rest of the morning was spent learning and worshiping at church followed by a lazy afternoon of relaxing and cooking steaks on the grill. I was so excited to make Josh some mashed potatoes (his favorite) but was sad to discover I still need a bit more practice! The potatoes were on the "al dente" side as Josh graciously termed them, but ended up tasting pretty good with a generous dose of milk and a dollop of sour cream.

One of the cool castles Uncle Josh built for Caleb to destroy

This morning, I woke up feeling sad about Josh leaving, but all other thoughts were quickly pushed from my mind when I suddenly realized I'd been overdosing Caleb with antibiotics for two days, ever since the doctor had moved him from an antibiotic that was given 2x's/day to one only given once/day. No wonder the poor kid was having some loaded diapers. Talk about a terrible feeling. The 20 minutes until my doctors office opened were some of the longest of my life. Josh definitely got to see a second mommy-meltdown!

Fortunately after talking to the office, who told me to call the pharmacy, I was reassured that the type of medicine I'd been giving twice/day instead of once/day would have no long term effects. I definitely learned my lesson though, in the future both David and I will read the dosage instructions so he can double check my medicine giving!

After I stopped hyperventilating, it was time to take final pictures and give last hugs. Caleb absolutely loved all the time he spend with Josh from the moment he got here. Uncles are great for shoulder rides, teaching you how to high five and feeding you pieces of their banana. It was a wonderful weekend and David and I are already looking forward to the next one : )

Next weekend: Caleb's 1st birthday!

More Random Mommy Thoughts

Caleb has two speeds:

fast and "can I crawl fast enough to get into trouble before mom stops me?"

He is so smart. He knows several things he is not aloud to touch and if he hears me coming he will kick on what David affectionately calls "the afterburners". If it becomes clear I will intercept him, he immediately changes direction as if to say, "Just kidding, Mom!" I am in big trouble.

Who me?

Motherhood inhibits your ability to decipher certain things. Caleb was in bed. I was feeling lost, cranky, and unsure what to do next. I didn't want to do chores, I didn't want to relax, but there was definitely some unhappy feeling in me that needed attention. Oh yes, I finally recognized it, I am tired. I should take a nap. And I did. Who knew 20 minutes could change the course of the rest of the afternoon?

There is nothing more wonderful than watching a child discover something.

This week I watched Caleb:

clap his hands while standing on multiple occasions.

crawl to a book when I told him to, "go get a book."

practice his new skill of putting toys "up high". In his play pen, on the couch, into mommy's hands. His new favorite game is putting a toy some place that's "up" instead of just dropping it on the floor.

There is nothing more heartbreaking than the "I'm hurt and in pain" cry

Caleb and David were wrestling a couple days ago when Caleb decided it would be a good idea to dive over daddy. The poor guy landed face first into the floor. At first, I thought he was just in pain, but not injured, then I saw blood coming out of his mouth. Instant tummy flip flop.

He'd somehow cut his top gums with his bottom teeth. David had the presence of mind to pull out out the baggie full of frozen corn I keep just for Caleb injuries and I wrapped it in a cold wet wash cloth. After a couple of minutes the bleeding stopped, the crisis was passed, but I wonder if my mommy heart will ever get used to this!

Every week contains so many small memories that are hard to capture in writing. Caleb and I dancing around the living room to toddler friendly tunes, watching the rose buds unfold into full bloom, Caleb throwing his food onto the floor, but eating dirt and leaves, watching him giggle as I tickle him on my lap, family snuggles as we read a few stories together before bed...life as mom certainly has it's challenges, but I don't think I've ever been happier!

Caleb: 10 Months

As of 12:17pm today, I became the mom of a 10-month-old. We started the month with one tooth residing just below the gums. We ended the month with 4 teeth! Needless to say, sleep and personality have suffered a bit, oh and Caleb's been grumpy too....Seriously though, the teeth haven't been as bad as I expected. He really isn't much of a biter. Lucky for me : )

I can do this myself mommy

Another major milestone this month included his very first cold, complete with antibiotics for an ear and nose infection. Parenthood is such a humbling experience. The poor little guy was a snotty mess the whole drive from FL to PA. Suddenly I was the mom taking my sick kid out in public, not keeping his nose wiped (because, according to Caleb, nose wiping = baby torture), and generally looking like a neglectful mom. Of course, it was unavoidable, but no one in the southern Virginia McDonalds knows that.

Physically, he's been getting better and better at the skills that appeared last month. He's standing alone for a few seconds at a time, cruising the furniture, and still crawls faster than a speeding bullet. His new passions are drawers and cabinets. Nothing could be better than opening, closing and emptying contents. Unfortunately, he's yet to learn to remove his fingers before closing so mommy must keep a close eye on these activities. When his balance gets better, I will allow him more "learning" opportunities : )

His new favorite toy

Verbally, his babble is taking on more of a jargon sound (for those who aren't parents, this means his "bababa's" and "mamama's" are starting to have the inflection of real conversation). But for the most part, he still just loves to babble, honk, yell and whine : ) More exciting (to me) is his receptive language. For some reason the signing I do seems to resonate more with him than just my words even though he isn't using any signs yet. He responds to eat and more with smiles and cries when I say "all done". This kid will eat until he gets sick so I usually cut him off at 8oz! I swear he is gaining a pound/day right now.

We really aren't doing finger foods right now, partially my fault. Since we've been on the road so much lately it's just been easier to jar feed him. Now that we're home I've been working with him more. He mostly plays with it, but this past week he did put a grain of brown rice in his mouth. He's also willing to chew his food when I give it to him. I really don't stress about things like this. Caleb is the type who waits a while to begin, but then goes full steam ahead when he gets there.

First attempt: Peas- which he loves in jarred form, by-the-way!

I think our favorite new development is that Caleb finally gives hugs and snuggles. Every day when David comes home from work, he bolts across the living room, flaps his arms to be picked up and gives David's neck a great big hug. In the morning, I bring him into our room for family cuddle time and he takes turns grinning at us and then burying his face into our shoulders. It's so precious!

Just after David walked in the door a few weeks ago

Something else that has amazed me is how much Caleb already loves to wrestle with David. Their favorite father-son game begins with David laying down on the floor. Then Caleb crawls over and body slams him again and again, laughing hysterically the whole time, while David mockingly begs for mercy.

A photo from a recent session

Our favorite mommy-son game is "Where's the baby". I move just out of his eye sight and say "Wheeeere's the baaaaby???" and Caleb comes tearing across the room full speed to find me. He can't stand to be left out of any excitement.

I am really enjoying motherhood and being back in our house. Things are really starting to flow more smoothly. Caleb does require my undivided attention these days as he explores his new environment, but I know this time is short and I'm trying to enjoy each moment.

A few more photo highlights from this month:
Getting dressed is a daily adventure

Already a tech-guy like his daddy

I never realized before becoming a parent that church falls directly in the middle of morning nap time

How PA babies keep their ears warm. And no, we haven't needed it. I bought it last fall before I knew we were moving to FL for the winter...oh well!